Goodbyes are never easy

I said goodbye to by dear friend Terry last night. We knew this day would be here but with all the delays ("closed doors") It seem like it wouldn't ever arrive; so yes, I was in denial. Through the years as friends have been lead in different directions, we never thought that it would happen to us. I'm not one that gets "close" to people very easily, that I feel comfortable in calling upon any time day or night or/and talk to about anything. This has been hard on me as Terry was the "last friend" (if I could say it that way) in Alaska that I felt I could do so. I have other friends here but none as close as she after the others had moved. She has helped me, kept my accountable for staying close to God. We may not have agreed in everything--we had many debates--but it had helped me stop and think of what/why I believe the way I do and to search out the proof. (yes, she is a born-again Christian and her faith is firm or we wouldn't have been as close as we are).  We weren't able to get together as much as we had wanted/planned when they moved to North Pole but we chatted alot on the computer and we are looking forward to doing that again when they get settled in Iowa.

No, goodbyes are never easy but at least I know that I'll be able to pick up the phone and hear her voice again. I just won't be able to get together and actually see her with my eyes. It's like having to say goodbye to a love one that has passed on but at least I'll be able to pick up the phone and hear Terry's voice again but can't do so with my love ones that has passed on. I think those are the hardest goodbyes, when our loved ones has passed on, knowing that not only we won't see them but we won't actually hear their voices again. As I think back, it was harder for when my brother passed on than my dad because my dad had dementia (sp?) and didn't talk the last few times I was "home" before he died; but with my brother I was still able to talk with, both when I was "home" and on the phone. What makes some goodbyes a little easier as even though I won't see these loved ones or possibly these friends I'm thinking about again in this world, I know that one day I will see them again as they have all accepted Christ as their personal saviour as I, so I will see them again in heaven for sure. They are missed very much but I know I can always count on God for his comfort.

Having a close friend is a rare gift and having one nearby to see, to talk with, and spend time with, is even more of a blessing. A true friend knows all about you and loves you the same. A true friend is not afraid to tell you "how it is" when they know you need to hear it, even if it might hurt your feelings or make you mad at them. Terry is such a friend. I hope that everyone that was given such a rare gift that they won't take ever take advantage nor take it for granted of that rare gift that were given them from God because it is truly a blessing to have such a close friend that one can depend upon in both the good times as well as the bad times.

Cherish the friends that God has/have brought into your life and never take advantage of their friendship, no matter how long they are/have been in you life but thank God for them and their friendship.

Family Vacation

We had an excellent family vacation in the beginning of May in Florida.  Why Florida?  Because my oldest daughter was graduating from Pensacola Christian College and since all of us (Randy and all the kids, including Connie and Nevaeh) were going, we decided to make it into a family vacation!  Besides, going to Florida sure was a long way from Alaska as well as expensive so we wanted to make the most of it.  What made it even more memorable was the fact that not only my mom and oldest sister went, but also Randy's mom and sister.  Now if only my younger sister and Randy's brother could have made it....but maybe, just maybe there will be another time....I can hope, can't I?

I can't remember all the day to day details of when we did what but I can tell you what we did/went, just don't ask me exact days and times!

We were able to rent a house in Orlando so we had our own home away from home!  It was much less than staying at a hotel--that's for sure--and much more homey and comfortable for all; but the most important was that there were enough beds and bathrooms for everyone.  Well, Andrew did have to sleep on the couch for a few nights because I wasn't expecting him to stay as long as he did--still not the full time we were there but longer than he had planned.  He had just started a business (Precision Archery) and was only planning on staying for 3 days (and that included one night in Pensacola and travel time) but after arriving, he made some phone calls and was able to stay another 3 days.  I'm not sure who that meant the most to:  Randy, myself, Christine, the grandmas and aunts, or even Kyle, Connie and Nevaeh(!) but nevertheless, it touched our hearts.

Most of us arrived in Orlando on "Day 1", got settled into the house, spent the night then drove to Pensacola (all but Kyle, Connie & Nevaeh; because of her age, Nevaeh wasn't able to go into the auditorium).  We rented two vans and Andrew rented a silver convertible Mustang.  He asked for a yellow one because Amy keeps saying that's what she wants--a yellow convertible Mustang.  Poor Amy though; she rode with Andrew when we went to Pensacola and got sunburned very badly--she fell asleep on the drive down and it was so hot.

Meant Randy's mom, Don (a family friend), and sister in Pensacola (they flew into Pensacola but flew back home from Orlando).  Spent the night in Pensacola and then graduation was the next day. Yes, I cried.  I was fine until Christine gave a short speech and then I actually realized what a wonderful young woman she had become.  I mean, I know she had and is, but it was like I actually really saw it then.  Afterwards we went to lunch then helped Christine get her things together for her friend to take to North Carolina--where Christine will be working.  Then we all, except Don ((he had gone home from Pensacola) headed onward back to our home away from home in Orlando.  We just hung out at the house the next day; did do some shopping as we needed some groceries...too.

Randy's Mom and sister was leaving Saturday so before they left, we went to Red Lobster for his mom's 70th Birthday.  When we got back, we had cake and ice cream.  Yes, we did put all 70 candles on the cake.  I had thought about telling someone at the restaurant that it was her birthday but didn't know how she would react so I didn't.  She was surprised with the cake and couldn't believe that we actually put all 70 candles on it but I think that I can say she was pleased and happy that we took time to do something for her birthday--especially since this was "Christine's time".  We were also able to go to Cocoa Beach before they had to go home.  My mom, Randy's mom and I walked down the beach along the shoreline.  It felt so good to feel the sun shining on me and the water on my feet.  After we got back from our walk, Randy talked me into going into the ocean all the way to do some wave hopping.  I thought I was nuts to let him talk me into it but I have to admit that it was fun.  Me, who does not swim or like water because of it, actually did it AND enjoyed it!  Mind you, I told him I wouldn't go unless he kept a hold of my hand and sure enough, he was a gentleman and didn't let go.

On Monday, the rest of us were also able to go to Disney World for the day.  Have to admit that we were somewhat disappointed.  We picked the one park that we thought would satisfy everyone but what it advertised wasn't what it appeared to be, or maybe it wasn't what we had expected.  We wonder if the other park we had considered would have been better.  Because of our time, and what we wanted to do in Florida, we only had time to spend one day there.  If anyone asks us about going I would say, definitely do so for more than one day.  The kids said that they enjoyed Six Flags/Marine World better than Disney World, and we only went for one day there too on the three times we were able to go when "home".  When I asked why, they said it was the same things they saw and did from the time(s) before but it was just more fun compared to Disney World.  I have to admit that I agreed and all I did was walk around at Six Flags too; except the first time we did go to a few of  the "shows".

We did fit in some shopping too.  The first time we went to a Mall and I have to say that I think it was one for the rich.  Connie and the girls went shopping elsewhere one evening and Amanda and Amy were in "7th Heaven"....LOL  They did find a lot of good deals in their price range.  We did go to another Mall that was for us "normal folks price range" and I was able to get a couple of things I had wanted.  To satisfy the guys (mainly Randy), we went to a Bass Pro Shop.  That stop was scheduled in because Amanda and I had gotten him Bass Pro Shop gift cards for his birthday. We also went to an outlet mall but only went to a couple of stores as by that time we were tired

.

The restaurants we ate at:  Besides Red Lobster, we went to (do I dare say) two other places for dinner and the food was good but they were "bar type" restaurants, like the one Chili's have (the closet I can come to explaining it).  Amy kept saying how can she explain that we took her to two bars???  She was joking and I have to admit that it was kind of humorous when I realized that we had--but not on purpose!  We went to IHOP at least three times for breakfast.  Randy and I took Kyle and Connie out on a double date to Olive Garden.  We ate at the Food Court at the Mall.  I missed out on DQ ice cream because I choose Chinese but was too full to have DQ for dessert afterward as I planned.  We ate at Sonic for a meal too.  Oh yeah, when we had lunch at Pensacola it was a Pizza Hut but I guess that doesn't count because we can eat at a Pizza Hut here in Alaska.  I think that's all the places we ate but at every place we ate, we had such excellent and friendly service.  We couldn't believe how well mannered and how each waiter/waitress was "right there" constantly tending to our needs and was always asking if we needed anything.  You don't find that kind of service everywhere.  We were truly impressed and it wasn't just one certain restaurant but at each and every one we went to.

Did I mention that we had our own pool at the house!  We all took time out by or even in the pool.  Mostly at the end of the day for most.  Even the girls (including Connie) and I took a night after Nevaeh went to bed to go into the pool.  We opt out to paying extra in having the pool heated since the sun heated up the water during the day but we found out that it definitely cooled off in the evenings/night!  Randy even stayed up with us; he said someone needed to be around that actually knew how to swim while we were goofing around.  We were already in the pool and decided when he came out we were going to say how warm and nice the pool was to convince him to get in.  He believed us and jumped in!!!

It was a wonderful time to be together.  I was so glad that it worked out for the whole family (mainly Randy, my children-- and I) to be together.  I was thinking that with everyone grown up that no telling when this would happen again.  It was a special time for me.  More so that both our moms and sisters were able to come too.  We sure did miss Randy's brother and my younger sister though; it would have been nice to have all of our siblings together with our moms.  It was still a great reunion though.

In closing....Mornings were my favorite time to sit out by the pool (screened in), drinking coffee and enjoying the sunshine before the busyness of the day started.  It was so peaceful and a great time of reflection and spending time with my Lord.  I think it's important to take the time first thing in the morning devoted to God.  No matter how one thinks that they'd be able to find time later to do so, before you know it, it's the end of the day and "later" didn't come around.  It says in the Bible to give our "first fruits" to God.  I think it can be said that this includes our day--to start our day, first with God, before getting started with the rest of what is planned/needed to be done each day.

Surprise, surprise, surprise......

....here I am.  I wanted so much to be diligent in blogging but to no avail, I have not.  As I was thinking, a verse came to mind:

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.  But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." ~I Peter 5:8-10

These verses probably have nothing to do with what I'm thinking so I'm not even sure why it came to mind, but I was thinking how I was doing this; meaning it seemed that I was going to and fro but yet not getting anything done that I could see.

As I was pondering on why I just can't or feel that I can't take the time to do so--blogging for the reason I started it:

"....the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour...." and when I looked it up to make sure I was quoting correctly, I got to thinking of the beginning of it, "Be sober, be vigilant..."  Am I being sober and vigilant (being serious about being watchful--my conclusion after looking up the meanings of these words from the concordance in my Bible and a dictionary) against sin and temptation.  Have I been falling into temptation of not being "...steadfast in faith knowing..." to be firm to accomplish my purpose (again, my conclusion of the meaning) of blogging even though I know how easy it is to fall prey when I felt lead to do this blog.  What I need to do is hold on to God's promise "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, secure you." That the times I fail/fall it can be used for good, to conform me into his image (see Romans 8:28-29), to show me truth, to make me stronger, give me freedom from anxiety (combination of paraphrase meanings and my conclusion).

How often are we all guilty of being so busy that we fail to do what it is God wants us to do; missing the many rewards and blessings from him, if we would have only just slowed down.  Yes, as women, (no matter the responsibilities we have, whether little or much, whether we are single, married, a stay at home wife, a stay at home mom with one or more children, working or nonworking women with or without children--I think I covered it all.  Oh yeah, can't forget being a grandma), whatever "phase" we are in life, we are just plain busy.  I think I might have mentioned it before, if  priorities are in the right order, there would be time to do all of our responsibilities as well as doing what God would want us to do and still have time to do all the "extras" (ex. hobbies) our hearts desire to do.

Like I said, I'm not sure why these specific verses came to mind but thought I'd share them.  I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts, especially if you think I have taken these verses out of context.  That's what I like about God's Word.  There's one meaning but many applications.

A Realization.....

I can say that I might have gotten side-tracked or I've just been too busy or had to stay focus on my own responsibilities or ?  but I'm not sure what the excuse is for not having to not continue on here with the book review I had started as I had said I was going to do or into even blog anything at all.  I just haven't taken the time to is all because I did have the time.  I think also that my heart wasn't into doing it anymore but then I realized something the other night.  I did not get any sleep that night; I kept waking up every 45min./hour and when I finally went back to sleep, I was awake again soon after.  So what I did during those "awake times" was what I used to do when this happened; pray for whoever/whatever came to mind. Do you know what/who came to mind?  Me.  I came to realize that I wasn't being "A Woman After God's Own Heart".  Sure, I was going through the "motions" but my heart wasn't in it.  I was home alone that same evening with Randy working late and girls not home.  It was too quiet.  I didn't have anything that needed to be done except dinner but I was just piddling around waiting to hear from Randy of when he was on his way home as dinner wasn't going to take long to cook.  I felt lost.  I did have a "small prick of heart" that I needed to face some things but I wouldn't admit it, even to myself, that I needed to "take care" of some things in my heart.  It is so easy to go through the motions/routines of the day without paying attention to what one is doing because they have become habits, and that's what I have been doing.  I realized that this have been going on for a long time.  It seems that the routines I have, that I do, have just been that, a habit.  Good habits to have/do is a good thing but my heart just wasn't into doing them, into doing anything really.  I was just going through the motions.  This time of quiet reflections had made me realize that I had lost my first love for my Lord.  It was something I had not realized until I took the time to sit (or I should say lay in this case), be still, and listen during this "prayer time" with my Saviour.  After much time in prayer about myself, it ended up to be a sweet hour(s) of prayer and I am glad that I was able to have it.

I am now going to really pay attention to what I do and to get my heart to where I can be A Woman After God's Own Heart.  No matter what it is that we all have to do, be responsible for, we should still be doing it for the Lord in actions and attitude on how it is done.  What we do may seem minute to someone else but everything we are responsible to do, that needs to be done, should be done for the Lord.  For me, for example, just doing things around the house, may not be much for the other woman that has a career but I should still be doing it for the Lord because he gave me those things to be responsible for and the ability to do them--which is just as important for the other woman in God's eyes--and I should be thankful to be able to do those things and to do them with my whole heart for the Lord.  (I hope all that made sense)

I am going to start from the beginning of this book review, for myself.  As I go through, or maybe it won't be until I am finished, I will continue to post my review/comments/of what I learned.

 

Has it really been that long???

It's been a long time since I've been here, hasn't it.  Don't know why it's been so long.  Think I can blame the short AK summer days?  I know, can't be too short since we have daylight almost round the clock during our summer.  The short summer season, better?  Not much going on this summer.  I guess today is going to be more of an update on what's been going on...

We are down to 1 1/2 horses and hope to sell them too (to those that didn't know, we were up to 8 horses--not including the foals that were born--and also had beef cows).  This will also be our last year of doing hay.  It was fun while it lasted but with selling off all of our critters....  We thought we'd continue on with the hay and sell it but with the last couple of summers... it's a race to beat the rain to get the hay cut, dried and baled that we're finding that we were putting more time into it than it's worth.  Now that we don't need much hay for ourselves we've decided to retire from the hay business.  It's too bad because we enjoyed it...yes even I had my turn at the tractor.  Believe it or not, it was actually relaxing & peaceful driving the tractor.  I had many "conversations" with my Lord during my turn at it.

I had some type of "bug" in July.  That was not fun!  Just before we had decided to go to Valdez to fish for salmon.  I had planned on not going but the whole trip was going to be canceled because Randy didn't want me home alone so I opt to go since I was feeling better.  Valdez is known for it's rain but God blessed us with beautiful weather; cool, clear and breezy but no rain!!!  Have to admit that once we got there and started fishing off the rocks, I felt refreshed and was able to enjoy the weekend.  Except for Andrew, the whole family went; including Kyle, his wife Connie and of course my Vaeh!!!  James (Randy's uncle) also came.  Yes, the girls came too.  It's been a long time since we've had a family vacation.  Needless to say we didn't catch much of anything.  Found out the commercial boats had just came through with their nets and was waiting to go through again (from what I understand, they have to wait and not able to do so except at certain times...I think....we saw them waiting patiently).  We were planning on tenting it, like we usually do; Kyle & Connie had rented a cabin, because of Nevaeh, and talked us into getting one too.  We got the last one available--Praise God! as I was not up to tenting it this time.  Even though there wasn't any fish, we all just enjoyed spending time together.  We did see some wildlife: sea lions, eagles and one bear.  It was a great weekend. Kyle & Connie stayed another day and they saw more bears the next day. 

A week or so later, the girls and I helped with VBT (Vacation Bible Time) at our church.  Amanda & I had baked cookies for it:  Chewy Brownies, Chocolate Chip and Oatmeal Scotchies.  Do I hear "YUMMY, I WANT SOME!!!"?  It was a joy to see how excited all the kids were during that week. Unfortunately, I became sick again the weekend after.  It started out as a cold, then the flu.  It took me a long time to get over that one.  Yesterday was the first day I actually didn't feel sick at all.  Today was another good day.

Randy made another trip to Valdez this pass weekend.  He wanted to take Christine again before she left to go back to college, since we didn't catch anything before.  Just he, Christine, Amanda & James went.  I still wasn't feeling up to par, but since I wasn't really sick and Amy isn't "into" fishing, we stayed home.  This time there wasn't going to be a cabin so he knew I would be miserable if I really got sick again.  Besides, Kyle, Connie & Andrew weren't going either so he knew I could get help if I needed to.  Anyways, they all caught their limit (pink salmon) this time!!!  They all enjoyed themselves.  They only brought back a cooler full but they were promised to someone; since we are planning on going again in a couple of weeks when the silvers are suppose to be running.  Not as good as reds and kings, but much, much, much better than pinks.  Reds are my favorites.

Oh yeah, a granny has got to brag a little about her granddaughter, right?  Nevaeh turned one in June but started walking when she was 9 months; has been coming over 2 days a week and whenever else....  I can't forget to tell you how she found a new friend, our colt that was born in May.  She loves him and I think it's mutual.  He comes up to her all the time.  When we are outside, as soon as I put her down she heads for the horses' "pen".  I have to keep a closer eye on her when were outside as she tried to climb in a couple of times.  She knows now that she's not allowed to "cross the road" without me or her aunties. He's bigger now so she's not too sure of him anymore.  She actually prefers "mom" now.  I think because the colt is now frisky and she's not too sure about that.


Except for just enjoying it, that's my summer "highlights".  I have plenty of notes on the book I'm reviewing but thought I'd tell about me this time.  Hope you don't mind but for those that don't really know me, I'd like to share my "everyday life" with you and just not what I've learned from God.


Hope y'all are enjoying your summer as I.

Watching, Waiting, Welcoming....

IT'S A BOY!!!  We've been anticipating this moment for quite some time.  I'm sure many didn't know we were expecting...a new baby horse that is.  Wouldn't you know it was due to be born when Randy was gone on his hunting trip with a good friend (Jeff Humphries); a trip that had been planned many weeks ago.  Midnight started to show definite signs two days after he left so it was time to keep round the clock watch on her.  I did the "day shift".  The girls split the rest of the hours so I can get some sleep.  Amanda did the "swing shift" (is that what the shift from 6-midnight is called?) and Amy had 2am--8am.  I had the longest shift, what's up with that?  but it was also the easiest after getting a full night's sleep.  Lack of sleep is not good for me--causes me to have "spells" as when I overdue it.  Well we missed the actually birth.  I so enjoy being able to watch the mircle of birth before (horses, cows, and my first grandbaby--the greatest mircle of all!) that I was disappointed to have missed this one.  He was born just before 4am.  Amy had just went outside to check on mom when the colt was almost all the way born, so she got to see the end of it.  She was able to help mom to break and remove the sac before she came to wake me up.  We were able to watch the colt take his first steps.

Some thoughts came to me:

Shouldn't that be what we should be doing of our Saviour's return, to anticipate it--to be watching and waiting for him to return.

What about when we are telling others about our dear Lord; watching and waiting for them to realize their need for Him for their Saviour and then welcoming them into the family of God; then to be a part of their first steps to learning more of him.

One last thought:  When we see a dear one straying away from God, we pray, watching and waiting for our prayers to be answered.  If we are blessed enough to be able to see that stray one to return, we welcome them back with open arms and help them to take those first steps back towards God.

It made me wonder that if I would just get pass the first step of watching and start to wait more....
Sometimes if when we are watching and don't see anything happening we stop waiting.  I wonder if because of that we never get to the end of being able to be the one to do the welcoming as well as being the one to help them take those first steps.

It makes me wonder if I would get pass the watching and waiting more....
What/how many blessings have I missed to not be the one to  "welcome" as well as to be the one to help with those "first steps".

It is something to think and pray about, isn't it.

Chapter 1 continued....

B.  A Heart Devoted to God

After choosing to have a changed heart, what does it actually mean to have a heart devoted to God?  In Luke 10:38-42 we can read about Mary and how Jesus praised her for having a heart devoted to him.

As you read this Bible passage, you will see two very different women when Jesus was received in their home.

• Martha was busy with the "physical needs",  "But Martha was cumbered about much serving..."

I can just imagine her runing around picking things up, and putting them away, do a little cleaning, making excuses if things aren't up to par, etc.; making sure everyone had a drink to quench their thirst from their travels, then preparing something to eat.  Something we may do if we have an unexpected guest we want to impress.  Or even when friends stop by unexpectly and our homes isn't as clean as we would want it to be

• Then there is Mary who "....sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word."

I'm sure with all the "running around" trying to meet the "physical needs" that Martha was starting to get stressful trying to get everything done for their unexpected guest that she started to complain to Jesus;

 "...Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone?  bid her that she help me."  Then Jesus responded, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath choosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

Before I go on with my "review", I'd like to share something about the last part of this verse that was "revealed" to me when I read it.

I need to be careful to not take away from someone their desire to know/learn more of God.  Yes, I can be a part of directing them in the right direction, especially if I see they are "going down the wrong path"--believing something that doesn't go/or isn't in God's Word but "sounds" like it could be something from God.  Though I must remember that if I choose to say anything to anyone that I may see "going down the wrong path" when they are searching to know/learn about God and his ways, I need to be able to prove/back it up with God's Word, the Bible.

I need to be careful with this "person" as I direct them as I can be discouraging them to stop if I'm not.  My purpose may be noble but it has to be done carefully--especially if it's someone that doesn't like to be told they are wrong or what/how to do something.  My words need to be put in a way that it will be encouraging them to keep seeking God instead of discouraging them to stop.  Hope this made sense to you.

Okay, where was I....

I'm sure Martha was excited to have Jesus in their home and to be able to have him at her dinner table.  Of course she wanted everything to be perfect.

Mary, too, was excited to have Jesus in their home but for a different reason.  She was able to hear God's Word from God himself and didn't want to miss a single word.

Are we so busy in our every day lives, doing our every day responsibilities, that we forget or just don't take the time with God; to read his Word and to pray.  Are we so busy that we don't take the time to stop, be still and "listen" what it is he wants us to know/learn.

I know I am guilty, many times, of not taking the time to do so.  How can anyone have a heart devoted to God if they don't spend time with him, to continue to get to know him, to learn about the things he wants us to know.

When we meet again, I'll mention some things on how we can follow Mary's example of her choice to spend precious time with God.